The Silent Crisis... Why the Most Successful Women Are the Loneliest Leaders

And what it's really costing them and the world.

Jessica built her consulting firm from nothing to $2.3 million annually.

She has the corner office, the team of twelve, the speaking engagements. Her LinkedIn feed is a masterclass in success. But last Tuesday, she sat in her car after a client meeting and couldn't remember the last time she felt... anything.

Not joy. Not excitement. Not even exhaustion.

Just... empty .

She's not alone.

A June 2025 headline from Bangkok Post read: "The silent crisis in the C-suite: even the bosses are quiet quitting." The article revealed what many of us suspected but few dared to say: even seasoned leaders are "exhausted, uninspired and dangerously close to quitting in place."

They still wear the suit. They still force the smile in meetings. But internally? They've disengaged.

The research is startling. After years of nonstop crises pandemic, economic turmoil, social upheaval even the most resilient leaders have "run on fumes" and lost their spark. But here's what the article didn't say:

For women leaders, this crisis runs deeper than burnout. It's an identity emergency.

As Brené Brown notes, "We can't be brave in the big world without at least one small safe space to work through our fears and falls." But for women at the top, that safe space feels impossible to find. (Brown, Brené. "Dare to Lead." Random House, 2018)

The Performance That's Killing Us

Here's what I know about women like Jessica because I've worked with hundreds of them, and because I've lived this story myself.

Deep down, here's what we believe:

"If I stop over-giving, they'll stop needing me." And without that... who am I?

"If I stop over-working, I'll fall behind." And I've worked too damn hard to lose my edge.

"If I invest in myself, it makes me selfish." And I already carry enough guilt for what I've missed.

"If I let go of control, it'll all fall apart." And I can't afford to fall apart. No one else is coming to save me.

What's the real cost of that belief?

You delay. You disappear. You perform strength while secretly drowning.

And no one knows because you never let them see you weak.

But just because you can hold it all... doesn't mean you're meant to.

Discover your silent collapse risk level with this free assessment

The Loneliness Epidemic at the Top

The Bangkok Post article noted something crucial: "The higher you climb, the lonelier it gets and the more pressure there is to pretend. Who wants to be the CEO who says, 'I'm not okay'?"

This isn't just about being busy. This is about being invisible .

Take Sarah, a VP at a Fortune 500 company. She told me: "I have 200 people reporting to me, but I can't tell any of them that I cried in the bathroom after our quarterly review. I can't tell my husband because he's proud of my success. I can't tell my friends because they think I have it all figured out."

Or Maria, who sold her tech startup for $50 million: "Everyone congratulated me. But I felt like I was mourning. I'd built this company by sacrificing everything my health, my relationships, my sense of self. And now that it was over, I didn't know who I was without the hustle."

The research backs this up. A 2024 study by the Center for Executive Leadership found that 73% of women in senior positions report feeling "professionally isolated," compared to 42% of their male counterparts. But here's the kicker: 89% of these women said they felt they couldn't show vulnerability without it being seen as weakness.

As Sheryl Sandberg observed, "Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence." But how can we make others better when we're barely holding ourselves together? (Sandberg, Sheryl. "Lean In." Knopf, 2013)

As one author wryly noted in the Bangkok Post piece: "Vulnerability may be trending on LinkedIn, but in real boardrooms, it still feels risky."

The Secret Wars We're Fighting

Every high-achieving woman I know is fighting the same invisible battles:

Success vs. Fulfillment: She won, but it still feels empty.

Leadership vs. Loneliness: The higher she climbs, the less she's held.

Control vs. Collapse: She's terrified of stopping.

Visibility vs. Safety: She wants to be seen but not exposed.

Logic vs. Longing: She lives in her head but aches from the heart.

These aren't just professional challenges. They're identity crises masquerading as leadership problems.

I know because I've been there.

Request a private consultation to discuss your next level

My Own Silent Collapse

Years ago, I appeared to have it all: a wife, a family, a business, an extravagant lifestyle. From the outside, I looked like the epitome of success. But internally, I was terrified of being exposed as an imposter. The dissonance between my outer life and inner truth became unbearable.

I was working as a gardener at Ralfcourt Gardens in the UK when it happened. One day, while draining a pond in the Japanese garden, I had a complete breakdown. I felt like a shell of a man with no direction, identity, or sense of worth.

Within weeks, everything collapsed:

• My car broke down

• I lost my job

• I lost my home

I ended up on the edge of homelessness, overwhelmed by shame and fear. But that breakdown became my breakthrough. It forced me to confront the truth: I had been performing success while dying inside.

That journey from collapse to spiritual awakening to helping others heal taught me something crucial: You don't have to fall apart to be whole.

As Maya Angelou wisely said, "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." The story I'd been hiding was killing me. (Angelou, Maya. "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings." Random House, 1969)

The Hidden Cost of "Having It All"

Here's what the leadership books don't tell you: Success without self-connection is just sophisticated suffering.

When I started helping people through a Facebook group, growing it from 4,000 to 36,000 members, I noticed a pattern. The most successful women were the most disconnected from themselves. They had mastered every external metric of achievement while losing touch with their internal compass.

Recent data from the Harvard Business Review supports this. Their 2024 study on executive wellbeing found that women leaders are 40% more likely to experience "success syndrome" achieving external goals while feeling internally empty. The study noted that this disconnection often leads to what researchers call "achievement depression" a form of burnout that occurs not from failure, but from hollow success.

Jessica described it perfectly: "I built a $2 million business, but I feel like I'm living someone else's life. I'm successful on paper, but I don't recognize the woman in the mirror."

Schedule a qualification call to explore your transformation path

The Myth of "Just Push Through"

Society tells us that leadership means pushing through. That strength means never showing strain. That success requires sacrifice.

But what if that's exactly what's killing us?

The trending solution in leadership circles is finally catching up to what many of us have known intuitively: We need to "stop glamorizing nonstop leadership" and instead give executives permission to be human to rest, reflect, even admit when they're not fine.

This isn't about work-life balance. This is about identity integration .

It's about becoming a woman who leads, loves, and lives without guilt or masks. Who makes bold, clean decisions with clarity and confidence. Who transitions from driven to deliberate executing without exhaustion.

As Oprah Winfrey reminds us, "The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams." But first, you have to remember what those dreams actually are. (Winfrey, Oprah. "What I Know For Sure." Flatiron Books, 2014)

The RAMS Framework: From Collapse to Reclamation

Through my own journey and working with hundreds of high-achieving women, I developed what I call the RAMS methodology:

• R – RESULTS: Not just external achievements, but internal alignment

• A – ATTITUDE: Shifting from proving to embodying

• A – AUTHENTICITY: Leading from truth, not performance

• M – MASTERY: Emotional sovereignty and decision-making clarity

• S – SYSTEMS: Sustainable structures that support, not drain

This isn't theory. It's a framework forged in fire my fire, and the fire of every woman who's ever felt successful on the outside while silently unraveling inside.

What True Transformation Looks Like

When Jessica completed her transformation, here's what changed:

Burnout ended. She stopped over-functioning, over-giving, and over-compensating. She stepped off the hamster wheel of proving her worth through productivity and became grounded in her inherent value.

Her identity was restored. She didn't just find balance she reclaimed the version of herself she'd buried under achievement, control, and perfection.

Boundaries got built and honored. She learned to say "no" without guilt. She stopped shrinking to stay connected and stopped staying silent to keep the peace.

Her relationships evolved. Whether with her team, her family, or herself she no longer carried it all alone. She shifted from emotional laborer to leader of her life.

She became deliberate, not just driven. The grind was replaced with intentional action. She learned to execute without exhaustion and finally felt safe slowing down.

As Arianna Huffington notes, "We think, mistakenly, that success is the result of the amount of time we put in at work, instead of the quality of time we put in." Jessica learned to lead from quality, not quantity. (Huffington, Arianna. "Thrive." Harmony Books, 2014)

Discover your silent collapse risk level with this free assessment

The Permission You've Been Waiting For

Here's what I want you to know: You're not broken. You're buried .

Buried under expectations, obligations, and the weight of everyone else's needs. Buried under the belief that your worth equals your output. Buried under the fear that if you stop performing, you'll stop mattering.

But you matter because you exist. Not because of what you produce.

The women who work with me don't just reclaim their businesses they reclaim themselves. They go from performing success to embodying power, without sacrificing their peace, their identity, or their relationships.

As Elizabeth Gilbert beautifully puts it, "You are not just here to fill space or be a background character in someone else's movie. Consider this: nothing would be the same if you did not exist." (Gilbert, Elizabeth. "Big Magic." Riverhead Books, 2015)

The Time Is Now

The "silent crisis" in leadership isn't just a trend it's a wake-up call. It's permission to admit that the old way of leading isn't working. That success without soul is just sophisticated suffering.

You don't have to choose between achievement and authenticity. Between success and self-connection. Between leading others and loving yourself.

You can have both. But first, you have to stop performing and start being .

Request a private consultation to discuss your next level

Your Next Step

If you've read this far, something inside you is stirring. That's not coincidence that's recognition. You're recognizing yourself in these words, in these stories, in this truth.

The question isn't whether you need transformation. The question is: Are you ready to stop performing and start living?

Discover your silent collapse risk level with this free assessment

Take the Silent Collapse Diagnostic. It will show you exactly where you stand and what your next step needs to be. Because the world needs leaders who lead from wholeness, not woundedness. Who create from clarity, not chaos. Who inspire from authenticity, not performance.

The world needs you . The real you. Not the version you think you need to be.

Schedule a qualification call to explore your transformation path

About Baz Porter

Baz Porter is a transformation coach and creator of the RAMS methodology, specifically designed for high-achieving women who have built successful businesses and careers but feel disconnected from themselves in the process.

His journey began with his own spectacular collapse. From the outside, Baz appeared to have it all: a wife, family, business, and extravagant lifestyle. But internally, he was terrified of being exposed as an imposter. The dissonance between his outer success and inner truth became unbearable.

While working as a gardener at Ralfcourt Gardens in the UK, Baz experienced a complete breakdown while draining a pond in the Japanese garden. He felt like a shell of a man with no direction, identity, or sense of worth. Within weeks, everything collapsed: his car broke down, he lost his job, and he lost his home.

On the edge of homelessness, overwhelmed by shame and fear, Baz turned to a close friend named Anne, who took him in. This became his lifeline and marked the beginning of a spiritual awakening that initially terrified him. He began to feel the pain of others, experience visions, and reconnect with spiritual gifts he had long buried out of fear of judgment.

During this time, Baz joined a Facebook group that gave him a mirror proof that he wasn't alone in his struggle. He started helping people for free, growing the group from 4,000 to 36,000 members. Donations began coming in, and slowly, Baz began to feel a flicker of purpose. He realized his calling wasn't gardening it was helping people heal.

Following spiritual guidance, Baz chose January 6th, 2019, as his departure date. He packed a bag and walked by it every day for months, repeating, "I'm flying to America on January 6th." With just $360, a one-way ticket, and faith, he flew to New York with no plan, walking the city, helping strangers, and traveling across the country offering his story as a mirror to others.

On a Greyhound bus near El Paso, Baz met a man addicted to cocaine who had lost his daughter. Baz gave him a choice: continue using, or flush it. The man chose life. That moment was the first domino in what would become the RAMS methodology.

In LA, Baz met Nicola, who saw through him past the performance, past the fear. She awakened a joy he didn't recognize and became a love that would redefine his life. Their connection taught him that authentic relationships were possible when he stopped performing and started being.

From this entire journey the collapse, the awakening, the travels, the connections, and the healing  RAMS emerged not as a business idea, but as a soul-mapped resurrection framework:

• R – RESULTS: Not just external achievements, but internal alignment

• A – ATTITUDE: Shifting from proving to embodying

• A – AUTHENTICITY: Leading from truth, not performance

• M – MASTERY: Emotional sovereignty and decision-making clarity

• S – SYSTEMS: Sustainable structures that support, not drain

Each element was forged in his fire, now structured to serve others especially high-achieving women back to themselves.

Baz's approach is unique because it comes from lived experience, not borrowed theory. He understands the terror of being exposed as an imposter because he's lived it. He knows the exhaustion of performing success while dying inside because he's survived it. He recognizes the loneliness of leadership because he's walked through it.

His work specifically serves women like You, successful on the outside but silently falling apart, exhausted from overgiving, overperforming, and overthinking. Women who fear stopping because they believe everything will collapse. Women who are disconnected from themselves and grieving their own absence.

Through his programs The Woman Reclaimed, Coming Home, and Legacy Without Loss Baz helps these women transition from performing success to embodying power, without sacrificing their peace, identity, or relationships. His clients don't just reclaim their businesses; they reclaim themselves.

Baz's methodology has helped hundreds of high-achieving women end the cycle of burnout, restore their authentic identity, build and honor boundaries without guilt, make bold decisions with clarity, and shift from driven to deliberate executing without exhaustion.

His work is grounded in the understanding that success without self-connection is just sophisticated suffering, and that the world needs leaders who lead from wholeness, not woundedness. Who create from clarity, not chaos. Who inspire from authenticity, not performance.

Today, Baz continues to serve as a mirror for women who have lost themselves under the weight of success, helping them remember that they don't have to choose between achievement and authenticity, between success and self-connection, between leading others and loving themselves.

His message is simple but profound: You're not broken. You're buried. And it's time to come home to yourself.